It’s the physical plane which feels so unreal to me at times, but it’s what most people see. This is probably where some of my greatest challenges lie.
I know for certain I’m in a growth phase. A lot of what I see frightens me. I feel sorrow a lot… I’m not sure if it’s for the world or for myself… Probably a combination of both because I consider myself connected to everything around me. I see many patterns, especially in my relationships and in archetypal ways. I notice how life seems to manifest as my moods fluctuate up and down. I notice the way that I am at odds with most of the world around me, and when I’m not, I’m unhappy… I guess I’m noticing A LOT of things, and so many of them shock me. I struggle to find meaning in all of it sometimes.
I know I’m on my way… But I can’t say I don’t get frustrated… Especially when it becomes so difficult to simply function in a way that’s halfway acceptable by society. There are two pieces of me which fight constantly…
Just typing as I notice, and this way I have the thought journey recorded.
Many people seem to view enlightenment as sudden, like the turning of a light switch. They figure you sit under the bodhi tree in meditation long enough and suddenly you see the meaning of it all in one flash of insight. That is not how it works. The Buddha got to Buddhahood after years of…
I’ve been confused the past couple of days about what to do. A dream last night told me that I’m “a strand of hair fallen from the thunder gods of hell.”
What the hell does that mean? I have some guesses based on what has been rolling around in my head over the past week or so.
I think the…
A Morning Dive Into Summer’s Grace
You may never notice, but if you need someone to tell your secrets to,
who won’t laugh, who understands pain… If you need a person quiet enough to never tell a soul, perhaps you should consider… me.
|—||Michelangelo (via samsaranmusing)|
I know he has someone special in his life and I don’t want to interfere with them. This means I need to back off. It just hurts.
That’s what my life has always been. I put up with pain for those few blissful moments of pure joy. Every rare instance with this man has been worth it, or so I’ve always told myself.
I slept on a bed of nails last night.
We’re all sado-masochists. He’s not exempt.
I had a good day today. I will tell you about it tomorrow. :)
“You’re an awesome person, Harley.”
I heard that while cuddling someone special to me… Someone who, last year, showed me what real affection looks like, and that there is still good left in the world… Back then, he convinced me I actually do deserve love, not abuse.
He’s one of those people that you can’t help but be grateful just to have in your life, ya know?