December 2011
9 posts
My best friend, Meagan spent a couple of nights over. I was happy to see her. But now she is gone and I’m more lonely than I was before. I feel my mind deteriorating again and the tears are coming. I just want someone to lay beside me and hold me. I miss that more than anything on earth. I’m alone and yet by choice. Nothing matters to me at this moment.
If Satan exists, he has me.
You know, I want to know everything… But I’m such a bratt about it. I want to start this project and learn about this one day, and then when I start getting sufficiently good in the area, I move on to another area of knowledge to learn.
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Instead of focusing so much on who I am, I need to start focusing on who I want to be. But I sometimes feel that I don’t want to be...
I have long condemned myself. My heart has forgotten forgiveness, especially towards myself. Acceptance seems to last no longer than a day.
If you're there, Lord...
Bring something good into my life… Something new… Give me something which will show me that there’s more to live for than what is within my current sight.
Please…
I paid such a high price for a happiness that I knew would not last, but I treasured those moments all the more because of it. Moments of pure bliss where I loved with everything I had inside of me. I knew it would end and that I would be left to pick up the pieces, wretched and broken. I still willingly stepped into it.
I know I can never again afford anything quite so intense, at least not if I...
Today, my grandmother came into my room and started trying to talk to me. She asked me all sorts of questions about why I haven’t tried talking to her and why I haven’t come out of my room (even though I’ve been leaving my room and going places for the past 2 days) and all sorts of other questions that I refused to answer. Then she tried acting all sad and told me how much I was...
Dear Becky,
I hope you do not mind that I have taken the liberty of writing to you through my private blog. I only know that strangely, it is much easier for me to dedicate myself to writing more than filling out a form because my thoughts are always looking for a means to escape from my head (and verbal communication has never been a strong point of mine for doing this).
I am sorry if this is more time...
