May 2011
75 posts
I’m stuck between two directions. Both will require courage.
I’m realizing the potential I have as a human being. I know I’m not worthless and I have a lot to offer. To die would be a major waste.
I just need the confidence and I need to actually believe in myself for once.
When I do drugs, I get epiphanies.
I’ve realized many times that I’m a very strange person, and if I act like myself, some people will love me and others will think I’m a freak. I like making everything funny for myself and saying weird shit to people just to get weird reactions from them. It’s fun.
Anway though, when I’m drinking or on something, everything I think...
sociallyawkward4life:
I wish I never had to be sober.
Talking to Dante
I always see posts like “so and so dumped me and wouldn’t give me a chance or even try” and other posts that seem to put everything on the dumper and nothing on the dumpee. It can be just as difficult to be the one dumping, especially when you still love that person.
When you really love someone and give them a fair shot and once considered them your best friend, it’s really hard to let them go...
Random Adventures
My ex and I actually did a few weird adventures like in my last post. We drove to a random town in no specific direction. We went through a bunch of Amish towns in Indiana and wound up at Warsaw. We stayed in a cheap motel for two nights and saw the lakes and ate at fast food places we’ve never heard of. And we went to random fishing stores and he taught me about fishing. Then we stopped and...
Fun and Unusual Date Ideas!
sociallyawkward4life:
brightchildhoodgraffiti:
I love these! I might just do them with a friend of mine.
“It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said
As I drown in...”
–
Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said
(via sociallyawkward4life)
Before, I was swaying between not wanting to live...
Now I’m wavering between wanting to live and wanting to die.
I’m not sure if this one is any safer.
2 tags
Top 10 Myths about Introverts →
flyhighr:
autopilotdisengaged:
suzywire:
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not...
Physical beauty is deceiving. →
sociallyawkward4life:
I love this article. Click to read.
“Nothing improves one’s reputation more than death.”
– Dr. Gordon Livingston (via sociallyawkward4life)
Loving Yourself
I often feel like I’m not strong enough to get through this, but then I start to realize something.
When I was in relationships, I put everything into it and made all sorts of crazy sacrifices and went way out of my comfort zone for the person I was with.
So why am I not willing to do the same thing for myself?
I guess I’ve always put myself at a lower level than everyone else around me....
Areas to work on.
If I want to get anywhere, these things need improvement. A lot of them tie in together.
Depression Social anxiety Guilt and shame Diet Exercise Sleep schedule Social life Organization Personal responsibility Motivation Laziness Over-sensitivity Lack of focus Self-hatred Self-confidence Bitterness
If you're strong enough to put a gun to your head...
sociallyawkward4life:
That’s what I’m trying to tell myself. The more I explore the reasons why I am this way, the more complicated it seems to get, and the more crucial it seems that I start dealing with it now. I’m not getting any younger. It just intimidates me a lot. I’m realizing though that I’m the only one who can change my direction. Unfortunately, it’s going to take a lot of hard work....
I think I'm slowly getting better.
I’m stuck between the desire to get better and an intense urge to just off myself. I find that the more I want to do that though, the more I realize just how crucial it is that I start dealing with this seriously. I don’t necessarily want to die, I just feel incapable of living a normal healthy life where I’m not miserable. I’m very depressed, I have extreme social anxiety...
Every once in a while, I feel like I can make it and turn my life around. I keep reaching the same conclusion over and over again though. I really think I am going to do it. My dad told me before he’d help me get a gun for shooting and self-defense, but I wouldn’t take one from him. I might use my check money to buy one.
I used to be such a nice person.
sociallyawkward4life:
I was so loving and caring towards everyone and always wanted to help people and make them feel better. Over the past year, that sort-of just deteriorated. I learned the world wasn’t quite so friendly. Pain really changed me and now I have a general disgust towards everyone. I really don’t like that. I feel like I’ve been stripped of the essence of who I am as a person. I...
I lack basic social skills.
What the fuck is sleep?
sociallyawkward4life:
I want to move away!
After all the events that have happened in the past couple of years, I feel like I’m a completely different person and all of my old goals feel irrelevant. I’m not as sweet, naive, and innocent as I used to be. I’m very curious about girls and my sexuality now. My beliefs have changed and I don’t even know what I believe anymore. I don’t feel ready for college yet. I don’t think I’m responsible...
1 tag
I've noticed I think about suicide a lot less when...
I wish I wasn't so stubborn.
The only reason I’m still here is because my family loves me so much. It’s the only thing really stopping me. I really don’t want to be here though. I hate this place. I hate the people. Society just disgusts me. So much. I don’t want to be a part of it. I have no motivation. Most of the time I’m hurting. I’m a lazy bitch and I always have been. I’m not...
I need some love in my life. Quickly. Or else I might do it.
I need a miracle.
5 tags
Dear Me:
bealightinthedark:
All those dreams, wishes, and desires you have for your life will never become your reality if you don’t put in the effort to make them so. Nothing happens if you don’t make it happen! What’s holding you back? Really, in all honesty what is holding you back from making them your reality? What is keeping you from being the you that you imagine yourself to be. You can’t wait for...
It's not so much that I want to die. I mostly just...
My next life lesson: Learning how to keep moving...
sociallyawkward4life:
It could be the most crucial lesson of my life.
I think I want to date a girl.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Being with a guy really just doesn’t appeal to me right now. It’s true that part of the reason is because I’ve been hurt so many times by guys, but that isn’t all there is to it. I’ve been there and done that and I’d like something new. I find myself looking at girls much more often than guys now. I get crushes on girls much more easily now than guys. The thought...
The first and only girl I've ever had real...
sociallyawkward4life:
She deleted her facebook and I no longer have her number. I think about her often and I really miss her. I haven’t seen or talked to her in ages, but I care about that girl a lot. I wish I hadn’t been too afraid to kiss her when I had the chance. I really hope she is doing alright.
Rachael
I need a lot more help than what I am currently...
I’m so much more comfortable in my room, away from everyone else. It seems like every time I go out, I feel drained and normally more depressed. I’m afraid of letting other people see me. I may not be happy, but I’m happier isolated than around other people. Why can’t they just leave me alone? I live my social life on the internet and I only want to interact and spend time...
My desire to die is greater than my desire to...
